Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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