i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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