the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
