It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Be still, my beating vagina.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
