the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i out mim tonsoeep
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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