The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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