dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
