You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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