Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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