sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
