So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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