after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
