Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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