In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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