their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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