where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
