My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
