Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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