all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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