I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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