I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
