arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
