i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
