We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
