I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Betty ford says i'm here all night
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
