is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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