this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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