Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
