Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
