Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
