By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
