i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
