Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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