i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
