Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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