i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
