the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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