if i died would you start the facebook group?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
two words: eviction party
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
