is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
