I'm really into asian looking animals
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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