he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
