i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
