when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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