She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
