Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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