Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
