ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
