One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
