Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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