i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
