I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
