that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
