you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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