I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
